The Fine Line Between Insanity and Bliss
You ever have what seems to be the perfect storm of events that go wrong in your life?
You wake up in the morning and stub your toe on the side of the bed frame.
You curse as you limp your way into the bathroom only to accidentally knock your tooth brush into the toilet.
The day has barely started and you're already ready to do violence.
“Great, what else do you have in store for me!?"
And as you think this thought while trying to prepare yourself for the day, you find yourself brought back to the present moment by a sizzling sound and the smell of something burning.
“FUCK!” you yell as you realize that you burnt your oatmeal on the stove while lost in your thoughts.
This is how things have been for me in the past 10 days.
The most aggravating part in all of this has been not having home internet since this past Wednesday (both my wife and I work from home).
After spending nearly 3 hours on the phone with customer service, I was told a technician wouldn't be able to come out until 11 days later (I'm currently writing this email from my aunt's house- gotta adapt!)
With all these curveballs recently, I've found myself thinking, “Great, what else!?”
And this was when something interesting happened within me.
I found myself suddenly in a state I can only describe as between insanity and bliss.
I felt like I was tapping into the energy of the Joker.
I started to purposefully think of things that could go wrong (e.g. my car breaks down, my laptop breaks, my business collapses, etc).
Now you might be wondering, “Roy, why would you purposefully think such thoughts? Are you really insane like the Joker??”
I'll admit, I'm quite a strange person 😂 In the realms of the human psyche, I like to plunge deep into the depths.
My intention behind thinking of all the things that could go wrong was to purposefully push myself into a state of insanity & bliss.
It is in this state that I connect to a sense of surrendered action & tenacity. Because when so many things go wrong, it can cause:
1) a collapsing and giving up
OR
2) a wild abandon with which you meet life (the scene in Forrest Gump where Lieutenant Dan challenges God during a storm is the perfect example of this).
It is in these moments where nothing goes the way we've known or would prefer things to go that we are initiated into an interesting opportunity.
There is an invitation to meet life with a sense of humor, a sense of, “FINE! Take everything! Bring it all down! And let's see what amazing ways I learn to deal with it that I'm not even aware of!”
This is that tension between insanity & bliss. There is no familiarity to hold onto, which means the only option is a surrendering to the chaotic circumstances while simultaneously saying, “Yes! Bring it! I will face it!”
We can look at chaos in our lives as something to avoid or be gotten rid of as soon as possible OR we can look at it as an invitation from God/Life to leap into the fiery coals and witness how we emerge from the fires like a phoenix.
So if this is where you find yourself currently, First name / my friend, where things just seem like one domino falling after another… my encouragement to you is to lean into it.
Find that middle point between insanity and bliss and say out loud, “I am open to witnessing how I evolve, grow, and become more refined and empowered in the middle and on the other side of this experience.”
Life is certainly nice when it goes how we'd like it to.
Yet, Life/God/our Higher Self often wants more for us than just “nice.”
It wants us to evolve, grow, and expand. And also to have interesting stories to tell 😏
So take heart.
Let whatever you're in the midst of refine and sharpen you my friend.
——
Thank you for taking the time to read.
If you are interested in:
Psychospiritual inner work
Relationships + masculine/feminine polarity
Existential musings
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Peace,
Roy