Frequently asked questions

+ How long will it take for things to get better?

Most of my clients see results within 3-6 months. My intention is to cause deep and lasting transformations that carry on long after coaching has ended. I do not believe you need to be in years of therapy before finally experiencing positive changes in your life.

+ What if my life doesn't change after coaching?

There are only 2 reasons for why this would be. 1) I haven’t done my job and/or lacked the necessary skill to assist you 2) you didn’t fully show up and engage in the work, but just wanted to be spoon-fed and coddled. If it’s clear to me that it is the first reason and you genuinely have shown up to do the work and still didn’t experience a positive change in your life, I am happy to continue working with you for free until you do (under certain terms and conditions).

+ I've worked with many coaches/therapists/healers before. How are you any different?

My question to you would be, “What was your previous relationship with your coach/therapist/healer like?” Perhaps you had a very callous coach who you did not feel a good connection with. Or maybe you had a very nice coach who always validated you, but never challenged you or called you out on your bullshit. My goal is to balance kindness, compassion, and grit. Validation alone is not enough. Men grow through challenge. It should feel uncomfortable. That’s how muscles grow and it’s how your masculine essence will grow. One important aspect of coaching I inform all my clients of is their personal commitment to growth. 10% of the work is what we do in session. The other 90% is what efforts you put in the rest of the hours of your week. Coaching by itself will help, but lasting change will depend on the client’s consistency. There will be times where I am less directive and simply observe the progression and interactions with my client. At other times, I will challenge clients to lean against their growth edge and experience discomfort. The life you desire is not without its growing pains.

+ I don't want to revisit my past. Can I still get to where I want to go?

The frustrating answer is: it depends. Unlike traditional therapy, I don’t believe you need to constantly retells stories of past trauma and pain in order to improve. I’ve had clients get great results without ever needing to revisit their past. For others, it can be valuable to “revisit” their past with a fresh perspective and reframe. It’s like going into a computer program and rewriting the code. Where many people get stuck is retelling the same stories and beliefs about themselves from a previous context that is outdated. By rewriting the code we create a different experience. Depending on what blocks you’ve been experiencing, we may or may not touch on past events that your unconscious mind has been stuck replaying.

+ What if we get into a disagreement?

I do not assume perfection as a coach and acknowledge that I will make mistakes and not provide everything a client needs or wants. This is where I desire to create room for clients to create dialogue with me, like co-creating a piece of jazz improv. I believe that some of our deepest pain comes from disagreements or arguments with loved ones where there was never mutual reconciliation between the people involved. By working through areas of conflict my client and I may discover, we create the possibility for mutual understanding and healthy models of communication (e.g. expressing anger without being shamed). These skills and experiences can then be carried into relationships outside of therapy and enrich relations with loved ones and people in the workplace. NOTE: I will do my best to directly address conflict if I sense it between us. However, I won’t always sense if there is something that I have missed. The responsibility is on you to bring it to my attention if you feel conflict, dissatisfaction, or have a grievance.

+ Do you do online sessions?

Yes, I do. Those who wish to do in-person sessions can request so specifically.

+ Why do you have a snake on your homepage?

The snake is significant to me because of a dream I had where I was being attacked by snakes of various colors. In this dream, I fought the snakes and didn't run. I grabbed them, bit them, and wrestled with them. All my life I’ve been afraid and sought safety and comfort. To me, this dream was significant because I was not running anymore. Putting the snake on my homepage was the first image that came to mind when I decided to create Sacred Wildman. I accepted the risk that it may scare people off or rub people the wrong way. The snake is doing its job. I want men to know from the get go that if they are in the business of changing their lives, they need to face their demons. The prerequisite to working with me is your willingness to descend into your own personal pit of hell. That’s where the hidden treasure is. Those who understand this will fear the snake, but also be drawn by it.

The literature around snakes is also very interesting. In the Judeo-Christian tradition in the West, the snake is viewed very negatively. However, in indigenous cultures and Eastern traditions, the snake/serpent/dragon is viewed as a powerful and primal source of energy. You hear about the coiled snake as Kundalini energy sitting at the base of our spine as well as intertwined serpents representing our DNA. My relationship to the snake changed from one of fear and disgust to one of honor and respect.

+ Do you work with women?

Yes, I do. This is something I will announce more officially in the near future (especially supporting women in building healthy relationships with men and for mothers raising sons). For now it is by request. If you are a woman who resonates with my work and would like to work with me in 1:1 coaching please do not hesitate to contact me.