Men who are enmeshed and monogamous to their mothers have great difficulty forming healthy relationships with other women. They carry into those relationships their deepest fantasies and deepest fears, terrified of intimacy and being vulnerable. As hard as it is to admit, our mothers are our first lovers. No other woman can give us that same attention as she did.

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The smooth stones on the ocean shores did not become that way after three or four waves. Those stones smoothed out after years of waves washing over them. So it is the case with spiritual disciplines; they smooth out your rough edges over years of consistent practice.

It seems clear: we choose not to pay attention until we have to, until something turns our world upside down. It can be events unique to an individual such as cancer, a car crash, going bankrupt, death of a loved one, or a painful breakup. And it can be events affecting a collective, as we are currently experiencing.

The fear and stories we are telling are all in our head. More often than not, we are our biggest roadblock. We shoot ourselves in the foot and say, “I’m looking out for you.” Over time, we have come to fear acceptance more than we fear rejection.

Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash