How to Meet the Collective Feminine Rage as a Man

The collective is once again alive with rage at the latest discovery of men’s transgressions against women.

CNN published an article on March 26, 2026 exposing a global “rape academy.”

The tl;dr version is that thousands of men post on a website tips for how to drug and sexually assault their wives along with video receipts of them doing so (e.g. sleep porn and eye checks). This site got 62 million visits in February. 

Weeks after I began to see across social media men and women calling out this depraved behavior, and rightly so. 

Many women expressed, “this is why we choose the bear”, “I’d rather stay single than ever be with a man”, or “we are SO FUCKING TIRED. MEN NEED TO DO BETTER!”

The rage of the collective feminine makes perfect sense. From the witch hunts, to MeToo, to man vs bear, to the exposure of this rape academy, women have long-standing and ancient history that informs their rage. 

Yet, there is something I have observed about this collective feminine rage that must be pointed out.

It is consuming and burning men who aren’t the perpetrators. 

A perfect example of this is the number of women who broke up with their boyfriends after watching the Barbie movie.

I did a whole breakdown and psychoanalysis of the Barbie movie that you can watch here.

The fact that a movie was enough to cause women to: 1) break up with their boyfriends immediately or 2) instantaneously see the closest man in their life as a patriarchal oppressor illustrates how easily swayed the masses of women are by their emotions.

These weren’t the men who were perpetrating the heinous acts that the CNN article exposed; these were men who were suddenly seen as guilty by their girlfriends by virtue of being male. 

There is a painful irony to this- while possessed by their rage, many women will whip and emasculate the men that genuinely care about them while the men who don’t give a shit, who are the ones doing these heinous acts, are untouched. 

This indiscriminate rage towards all men is once again alive and spitting fire. 

One man in my men’s group shared a Substack blog in the group chat asking us for our honest thoughts about it. It was written by a woman named Sophie Strand who recounted her own experiences of sexual violence from men and how she stands by the belief, “trust no man.” Her blog was published as a reaction to the CNN article exposing the “rape academy.”

The man in my men’s group stated, “I don’t know what I could say to her to give her a reason to trust me.”

He’s a man who has struggled with insecurity and nice guy tendencies around women and just when he feels like he’s growing more solid in his masculine essence, “someone reminds me that this shit is going on in the world every second.”

He is one man, among many, who is deeply connected to his heart and experiences a tension between owning his sexual desire and attraction to women vs the fear that sexual desire for women is toxic and wrong because of the bad things men have done towards women because of it.

The internal dilemma is, “how can I possibly own my sexual desire for women when it is the very thing that so many women have been harmed by?”

What happens for these men is that they then collapse in the face of feminine rage be it with their mothers, their partners, or women at large. In the words of Day9 (a gaming streamer), “I’m a little saint who’s always flaccid cause that’s respectful or I’m an evil sex-wanter. That’s the dichotomy in my head.” 

This black-or-white thinking that so many men experience then leads to two things:

1) an attempt to do everything right and always agree with a woman so as to earn her approval which will hopefully then lead to her wanting to date him and have sex with him because he did everything right or

2) harboring deep resentment and rage towards women because he has shamed his own sexuality and sees women as the ones who prevent him from being sexual. 

This creates men who are a split between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

And do you know what this leads to?

Men who would like to believe they are nice, kind, male allies to women, but are unconsciously a pressure cooker that will one day explode or implode. 

The paradoxical mindfuck here is that the more women rage against and shame men indiscriminately as a whole, the more they will unconsciously contribute to the rise of dangerous men- men who flock to the likes of Tate because they are sick and tired or men who play the performative nice male ally while harboring deep rage and resentment towards women that he tries to suppress. 

I’m not a fan of either of these options.

The world doesn’t need more men like Tate who disparage, manipulate, and objectify women. And the world doesn’t need more performative male allies or spiritual fuccbois who are wolf in sheep’s clothing hoping to pull the wool over the eyes of women and themselves (e.g. Russell Brand).

The world needs integrated men. These are the men who walk the middle way. 

They don’t collapse and succumb to placating women.
They don’t erupt and try to dominate and oppress women.
They simply stand firm like an oak tree.

These men know themselves so deeply that nothing can shake them.
Not the rage of women that attacks men indiscriminately.
Not the rage of men who project their own fear and shame onto him.

But how would such men respond to the collective feminine rage in our times?
What would that look like?
Surely he wouldn’t just be indifferent?

I will give a personal example of how I would respond to the collective feminine rage. This is inspired by the man in my men’s group who wanted to know my thoughts about the Substack blog he shared by Sophie Strand.

But before I share my response, I want to quote something my therapist said to me in 2016 that came to mind while writing this blog: “you making yourself small doesn’t help her.” I will explain the context of this quote towards the end of the blog. 

Now, regarding Sophie’s blog:

This is a very authentic expression of the collective feminine rage. There’s absolutely a sacredness to it.

If I were sitting across Sophie, I would not ask that she make herself more palatable.
I’d let her rage like Kali and stomp the earth.
I’d bear witness to her as I have many times before with women who have raged. 

I would have no interest in giving her a reason to trust me because I do not need her trust. I care not to garner a woman’s trust in order to feel safe and okay within myself; I already self-source that.

If you want Sophie’s trust, affirm for her that she has no obligation to trust you nor should she.
There’s nothing that she needs to give to you.

This holy feminine rage is potent and it very much demands an awakening in the collective. However, that awakening will look different for each man.

Speaking just for myself, if Sophie were to bang on my door and gaze into my eyes with the force of the ancestral rage of the collective feminine, I would feel her rage deeply.

I’d get goosebumps. I’d take a deep inhale and exhale to let it move through me.

And if she were to ask me, “What the fuck are you going to do about this today!? You work with men. How is this not the focus of all your conversations with men right now?!”

I would look her in the eyes and say, even if my voice quivers and my legs tremble, “Because it does not resonate with me as the most valuable thing I have to offer in empowering and transforming men.”

My soul’s calling is to do the work like that of a surgeon. Working with the psyche of men is delicate work. It takes time and patience. It is not instant gratification nor something to be done quickly to appease women. 

Sophie wrote three sentences in her blog that captures a recurring sentiment among women:

“No, it’s a network of abuse that underpins most of society and its lurking under the thin veneer of civility of every man that isn’t constantly vocalizing at the top of his lungs that he believes you and he will not stand for this.” (emphasis mine)

“How are we talking about anything else?”

“At this point in my opinion, anything on the male spectrum from silence to disinterest is grounds for assuming complicity.”

These three sentences capture what I call the feminine’s emotional truth.

It’s the kind of “truth” that when expressed in the present moment dominates a woman’s entire consciousness.

Nothing else exists.

Using a more humorous example, during a woman’s luteal phase she could watch a sad YouTube video about rescue cats in a shelter and literally feel in her whole being and say to her man, “we need to adopt all these cats! I don’t care! They need a home! If you don’t care about saving these cats then you don’t care about me!” And if her man acquiesces in that moment and loses his center, they will have a whole bunch of cats and later she will resent him for letting her do that. 

Obviously, the reality of child sex trafficking and men who drug and rape women is not a laughing matter at all.

But when people rush into action solely from feeling singed by the fire of feminine rage, they will act out of alignment with what is actually most useful.

A surgeon who rushes a surgery due to the pressure of a woman eviscerating him will make more mistakes, which harms himself, the patient, and that woman in the long run.

Mirroring the feminine rage, I’ve seen men express, “the government isn’t going to save you. Stop waiting for a trial for the Epstein list. We need to go out and settle this ourselves.”

These men, operating from the unbalanced Warrior archetype, seem to suggest that the solution is for all men to grab their glocks and AR-15s and drive to the nearest pedophile ring conveniently located for them simply by asking Siri, “where these fuckers at?” 

Something else Sophie would hate hearing me mention is that these heinous acts happen even when CNN or Netflix don’t run a special feature about them. This hinges people’s emotional and psychological wellbeing on what the news does or doesn’t report.

Seeing as the news churns out negative content 24/7, this means people are being constantly put in states of fear and anger.
This causes:

1) nervous system burn out
2) severe decrease in cognitive function and wise decision making
3) suggestibility to have other ideas implanted into the unconscious.

This is why psychological, emotional, and spiritual self-mastery is the most important skill to cultivate in our times of turbulence.

Those who have cultivated this inner stability are the ones who are like the first responders, firefighters, and ICU surgeons who can actually respond well and direct others to respond in more beneficial ways.

It’s the real work, but it’s not sexy and does not provide instant gratification.
It takes training, study, practice, and repetition… not a phone and infantile level of emotional maturity. 

People have brought up the term spiritual bypassing with regards to things they feel people are not angry enough about. The idea is that some people use spirituality as an excuse to say, “everything is always working out for us for the highest possible good. There is nothing we need to do.”

This is a valid critique. Spiritual bypassing can lead to a blissed out ignorance over what happens in the world to the point where people do nothing.

However, the opposing extreme of spiritual bypassing is something I call activism/solidarity bypassing. This is where people are pulled into a knee-jerk reaction that doesn’t come from wisdom or empowerment but a desire to appear to be doing something as opposed to being eviscerated for doing nothing or being “complicit.”

They fear that if they don’t do something immediately that they are then numb or indifferent. This self-judgement then gets projected onto everyone and anyone who isn’t reacting like they are (e.g. “How are we talking about anything else?”).

I think another difficult reality for people to accept is the sense of guilt, shame, rage, and powerlessness they feel when they realize that they cannot save the world.

Misogyny, suicide, homelessness, genocide, rape, or hunger will not be fixed overnight.

But the sheer output from social media and news media makes it seem as though the rate at which bad things are being reported must also be the rate at which they are solved.

Again, all this does is cause more overwhelm, tax the nervous system, reduce cognitive function, and open people up to hypnotic states of suggestion where more overwhelm, guilt, fear, rage, and shame can be programmed in.

This reminds me of a line from the movie Captain America: Winter Soldier that has stuck with me:

“Hydra was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly… For 70 years, Hydra has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed. Hydra created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, Hydra’s new world order will arise.”

This gets into a whole other rabbit hole that we don’t need to go into, but it’s one that most people aren’t ready for. 

Let’s say after all of this Sophie says, “then what!? Are you saying I, you, we should do nothing and just sit here!?” 

No, we don’t just sit here and do nothing.

We acknowledge the reality of what happens in this world without sugarcoating it.

We feel fully what emotions are awakened and sit with them the way a monk sits with the storm within his mind.

And from that stillness cultivated from sitting in the hot coals long enough, we get something more refined.

The anger and rage have a place to go that is strategic, useful, and has longevity to it.

How that looks will vary person-to-person based on their unique skills and true convictions unencumbered by groupthink.

The people who have been doing the real work and creating solutions have been quietly doing the work long before the reactive hivemind picked up their phones and were told what next thing they should be enraged about.

For example, Robert Bly, an American poet helped start the men’s mythopoetic movement in the 1980s. The purpose was to reconnect men to their masculine identity that was lost due to industrialization, fathers spending less time with their sons due to work, and the absence of men’s rites of passage. Myth and poetry were used to help men understand their psyche, heal old emotional wounds, differentiate from their mothers, and reconnect to masculine forms of nourishment such as brotherhood and men’s retreats. 

Bly went on to write his now famous book, Iron John, which made accessible to countless men a deeper understanding of the psychological and spiritual journey men must go through in order to become mature men. 

Joseph Campbell’s work around myths and the Hero’s Journey played a significant role in influencing the deep work the mythopoetic movement guided men through.

Robert Moore and Douglass Gillette, a Jungian analyst and mythologist, wrote the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, which has helped men better understand the archetypal forces that guide their psyche. Men have been able to learn what positive attributes of these masculine archetypes look like as well as what the shadow expressions of these archetypes look like. By integrating both their light and their shadow, men learn to become integrated and Whole instead of fragmented. 

Men’s organizations such as Sacred Sons and The Mankind Project continuously walk men through sacred rites of passage events that help men confront what they have been running from, heal old emotional wounds, learn what brotherhood with their fellow man looks like, and return to their families and communities as more solid men. 

Jason Wilson, a Detroit-based author and speaker, is the founder of the Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy. He has gone viral on social media for his video clips where he coaches young black boys how to healthily process their emotions, build physical discipline, and embody spiritual virtues through martial arts training. His book Cry Like A Man has helped many men reshape their relationship to sadness, grief, and openness with their emotional world. 

This is the quiet, deep work that has been going on to challenge, guide, and support men. More men than ever before are doing the deep inner work to face themselves and repair their relationship with women and the feminine.

This would be my response to Sophie, to women, and to the rage of the collective feminine. I can acknowledge and witness her rage. And I also won’t be pulled into her emotional reality and lose myself in her. I can remain firm in my own convictions and inner compass without needing to conform to hers or forcibly change hers. 

This is how I would advise tender-hearted men who ask, “how do I respond to the anger of women?” 

It’s simple in theory, but much more difficult in practice.

Many men don’t even realize their fear of women’s anger ties back to an unresolved mother complex where they were either:

1) the target of their mother’s wrath or
2) saw their mother emotionally eviscerate his father.

Both lead to an unconscious adaptation and defense mechanism that says, “do not upset mother/women at all costs!”

This is why men who chase women’s approval will always run into a dead-end.

You’re not looking for a woman’s approval. You’re not looking for your mother’s approval.

You’re looking for someone else to give you permission to be a man who can have his own independent mental and emotional experience without feeling like you’ve committed a sin against the holy mother. 

So the next time you find yourself feeling pulled off center by feminine rage, consider these words I heard from an IG reel:

“Pressure makes most people rush. They move just to escape the feeling. Those who wait, see more. And those who see more, move with control.” 

These days the majority of people don’t wait to see more. Most people just want to get a story out first or react first to get as much engagement as possible, the angrier the better.

All this does is cause women and men to be pulled into a hivemind mentality and feeding frenzy.

Their wellbeing is hijacked by the waves of social media and news media that string them along by their emotions.

They shout, yell, curse, launch verbal assault missiles at each other in the comments section before they inevitably go back to living their lives in a state of numbness and dissociation.

If this is what solidarity and activism mean to you, I invite you to consider how effective it is.

Does reacting with rage really demonstrate that you aren’t numb or is it leading to more burnout and numbness in the long run?

Would you want a numb, dissociated, overwhelmed, and reactive surgeon performing surgery on you?

Or would you want the surgeon who is clear, focused, and can do his job under pressure without being pulled into other people’s reactivity because he’s the only one in the room with the skill and capability to do the job? 

If you prefer the first surgeon, then feel free to continue getting consumed by the collective feminine rage. 
But if you prefer the second surgeon, then take a deep inhale and exhale.
Drop the knee-jerk reflex to react. 

Then ponder the following questions:

1. What would getting Sophie/women at large to trust you do for you? E.g. “If I could say or do something that would give women a reason to trust me, then I would get/feel __________.” Your answer to this question will reveal your true motivations. 

2. Did you grow up fearing your mother’s wrath? Did you experience being intensely criticized by her or witness her criticize and belittle the men in your life? Do you see any parallels between the repressed fear of your mother and the fear you feel in the face of collective feminine rage?

3. If you could find your center in the midst of feminine rage, be it your mom’s rage or the collective feminine, how would that change the way you show up?

4. How does your body respond when you read the following statement: You will never be able to truly love and stand for/with women until you fully own and integrate the repressed aggression you feel towards women/the mother.

Reflecting and journaling on these questions will bring you a lot closer towards becoming an integrated man who can actually live and act in a way that loves, serves, respects, and protects women. 

Again, this level of deep work isn’t sexy.
It doesn’t bring instant gratification.
It will require that you confront and sit with yourself in a way that 90% of men avoid, especially the performative male allies. 

But if you are truly interested in liberating yourself as a man and becoming the integrated man who can respond to collective feminine rage without losing your center, this is the way forward. 

This is the work I’ve done within myself and one that I’ve supported many men in along their journey.
Feel free to reach out to me here if you’d like someone to guide you in this work.
This work is not for the faint of a heart and having a guide who has been through it is invaluable. 

One final thing I will leave you with. It’s a scene from the movie X-Men: The Last Stand. 

In this scene, Jean-Grey is possessed by the Dark Phoenix. No one is able to approach her for they would instantaneously be shred into atoms by her overwhelming telekinetic power.

Wolverine looks at Storm and says, “I’m the only one who can stop her. Get everyone to safety.”

Turning towards Jean/Dark Phoenix he screams, “Jean! I know you’re still there!”

He begins a slow and painful walk towards her, just barely able to regenerate himself at the rate he’s being shred apart by Jean/Dark Phoenix.

He finally makes his way to stand face-to-face with her. 

Jean/Dark Phoenix hisses, “You would die for them?”

Wolverine confesses, “No… not for them. For you… For you.” 

For a split moment his confession of love brings Jean back to her senses. She tearfully begs Wolverine, “Save me…”

Wolverine says with a pained expression, “I love you” before quickly stabbing Jean/Dark Phoenix and ending her life.

The Dark Phoenix’s black eyes fade to reveal Jean’s eyes. Jean then closes her eyes as a gentle expression of peace spreads across her face like wind caressing the surface of a glass smooth lake. 

To me, this scene is a beautiful depiction of the grounded masculine meeting the destructive feminine. 

The destructive feminine force is neither good nor evil, it simply is. Yet, the direction for where that force goes will determine whether it destroys with a clear purpose or destroys indiscriminately like a raging forest fire. 

In Jean/Dark Phoenix’s case it was indiscriminate and had no purpose. It destroyed simply for the sake of destroying.
This is the same energy I’ve sensed behind a portion of the feminine rage in the collective- no clarity, no direction, just indiscriminate destruction that causes collateral damage. 

If you’re a man who truly wants to be in service to women, know that it will require more than just feel-good slogans of being a male ally. 

It will require love and support. And at other times it will require a firm stand where you say, “I understand you’re enraged and grieved. You have every right to be. And, I do not support you expressing and acting on it in a way where it causes collateral damage.” 

Such a man does not need to be liked or trusted by a woman because he’s solid in his identity separate from women’s approval or fear of women’s displeasure. 

He is in service to her and the greater collective from the clarity of his own integrity. He knows this is a gift he has to offer to women when they become consumed by emotions that cloud her consciousness from seeing clearly. 

This is how the integrated men of the world meet the collective feminine rage. 

To bring things full circle, I will now tell you the context behind what my therapist said to me in 2016: “you making yourself small doesn’t help her.”

This was the third consecutive woman I had been friendzoned by. I knew about some of the things she had been through in her life. 

The best way I knew to support her, while also longing for a relationship with her, was to make myself small and harmless. I figured if she had been harmed previously by men, then I would do everything in my power to be the opposite. 

Instead of being dangerous, I’d be safe.
Instead of being sexual, I’d be nice.
Instead of being direct, I’d be roundabout.

I shared all of this with my therapist who bluntly told me that all my attempts weren’t helpful.

“If you truly want her to have a repaired relationship with men, then you should be strong. Be direct. Be more of who you are. Then she gets to experience strength AND safety in a man.”

Masculinity is a sword men must learn to wield and master.
The bad boy swings it wildly with no regard for others.
The sensitive, spiritual, nice guys reject the sword because they are afraid, so the bad boys happily take it from them. 

The integrated man is the one who walks the middle way, which is the most difficult.
He doesn’t reject his capacity to do violence nor does he wield it over others.
He doesn’t hide his sexual desire nor is he enslaved by it.
He learns to marry his heart with his spine and cock. 

He is the one who can truly love, protect, ravish, and honor women.
He is the one who can truly love, protect, ravish, and honor life.